Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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