i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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