I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
im six kinds of drunk right now
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
