Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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