my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Randomize
