Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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