So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
