Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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