You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
