his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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