thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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