I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
two words...techno handjob
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
