Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
