we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
