I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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