Non-Jews are for practice
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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