That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
