Please don't use social media to get back at me.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
