she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Every concussion has its silver lining
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Randomize
