The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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