Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
