what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
