i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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