I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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