16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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