We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
We had to coat check the pizza.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
