I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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