i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
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