the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Randomize
