holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
