i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Randomize
