ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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