she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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