I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
