You can't motorboat a personality
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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