That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
