as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize
