This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
