guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
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