I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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