is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I have post one night stand depression
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