Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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