Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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