is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
