dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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