your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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