at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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