Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
