i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
