It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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